Danke Schoen, Darling

Earlier this month I left chère Paris for Berlin to visit Hélène, my step-sister. Coincidentally there is no good way to say step-sister in Parisian French; I was taught belle-sœur but that usually refers to a sister-in-law, soeur d'alliance is perhaps the most literal translation, but is awkward to say in conversation. I call her my demi-sœur even though it means half-sister because it's the least likely to require an explanation. Anyway, my something-sister was staying with her authentic German boyfriend, Johannes, and his roommate over the holidays and they were kind enough to welcome me into their very authentic German apartment for a few days.


Voilà the happy couple

The first thing we did after I got in on Friday night was ride the very clean and prompt German metro for a long time (Easyjet only flies to Berlin-Schoenfeld from Paris) then we sat around eating delicious potato soup made by the authentic German boyfriend and talking about the Cold War and Seinfeld. Hélène and I exchanged gifts - macarons from Dominique Saibron (who will get his own post in the near future) for her and chocolate dipped gingerbread for me. Before I tear apart Germanic cooking, I have to say that these people do an amazing job dipping things in chocolate. The green beer isn't bad either.

Hélène took me out for a Berliner Weisse, basically the product of a torrid affair between Heineken and gummy bears. I am a fan.
Day two brought us to Museumsinsel. The Germans, ever the masters of practicality, have concentrated five of the country's top museums on one little island near the center of town. We bought student day passes with a time slot for the Neues Museum, which are actually a pretty good deal.

We stopped by three of the five. The Pergamonmuseum, which houses Ancient Greek artifacts, was the most impressive. When the Germans pillaged, they didn't just make off with statues and vases, they took the whole temple! Really. Walking throught this museum, with ancient building façades towering over you (visibly held together by bungy cords, no less) and beautifully preserved mosaics on the ground will give you a new appreciation for the technical prowess of Socrates' buddies. The Alte Nationalgalerie (Old National Gallery) was a pretty standard art museum with a heavy emphasis on German and French painters from the 19th century. The Neues Museum, which is super popular, was like the best elementary school field trip ever. Its main draw is a bust of Nefertiti (again with the pillaging thing) but there are tons of sarcophagi (opened so you can see the mummy!) and ancient weapons and armor and jewelry and...yeah, Egypt's cool.

After a long day of museum walking me and my snail-like metabolism would have been happy with a glass of water and nap. Not so for my companions, who actually digest whole meals in one day, so we stopped for currywurst. Apparently, this is basically the Berlin version of crêpes. That is to say cheap, filling, and ubiquitous. Unfortunately, currywurst is actually a hotdog covered in special ketchup. Scrumptious.

That night we went out to a very chic Austrian restaurant which had great wine, great ambiance, and, by all accounts, great food. My appetizer was great, but I ordered Weiner Schnitzel for my main. Afterall, it's one of Maria's "Favorite Things" in The Sound of Music...Well, suffice it to say it is not one of mine. It is a piece of meat hammered thin and then deep-fried. I had an apple juice detox when we got back to the apartment.

The next day we hit up some major tourist sights including the Brandenburger Tor, Checkpoint Charlie and the Holocaust Memorial.

All were very impressive. I didn't quite know how to interpret the Holocaust Memorial, which struck me as very blank, empty even, but also kind of reminded me of cemeteries back in New Orleans. The graffiti'd pieces of the Berlin Wall on display were great, and the Brandenburg Gate is certainly a marvel. One thing I really got a kick out of was seeing the Starbucks and Dunkin' Donuts in what was once East Berlin -- right in front of the Russian embassy.

The best part of the day was when Johannes took us to Another Country, an English language bookstore run by a Scottish transvestite. The setup is shelves of books in what seems to be someone's (the transvestite's?) home. There are drinks in the fridge, and you have to navigate around furniture in the dining room, living room, and study to get to some of the books. The place was chalereux, as we say back here in the land of impractical shoes and more varied diets.