Many men in France (and in other parts of Europe) love to draguer, to flirt, to try to pick up women. Anyone who looks culturally appropriate in a skirt in France encounters this. It's strange to me that in a city where saying "bonjour" to a stranger is unheard of, it's normal to try to seduce one on sight. At best it's funny and flattering, at worst it's menacing. Usually it's just annoying. In general I tell the unwanted male I'm Russian (nobody speaks Russian), but Monday night, being cold and running late around 7 p.m., I was not prepared as I entered the métro at Alésia. Actually, that was just as well, since not even my trusty alibi couldn't have gotten me out of this one gracefully. This is definitely the most extended incident I've had, and since an account of my time here wouldn't be complete without at least a mention of awkward sexual advances, here's how it went down:
I was standing on the voie, waiting for the train. Two youngish guys walk by behind me, laughing, and sit down on my right. Just when I am starting to wonder if they are laughing at me, a voice:
Random man: *indistinguishable French in my left ear*
Me: Blagh! *deer in the headlights face*
Random man: (in French) Oh, I surprised you...[something something]...getting pushed in front of the train.
Me: *starting to get terrified, polite nodding*
RM: Ah, you don't speak French.
Me: Not really
RM: Spanish?
Me: No.
RM: Italian?
Me: No.
RM: English, then? I don't really speak English...
Me: Yes. *ain't-that-a-shame-now-leave face*
RM: So you're English? American?
Me: American.
RM: So you're here on holiday?
Me: No I'm a student. (Doh!)
RM: Ah-ha! So you speak French then!
Me: Sometimes. (Where is the train?!?)
RM:What do you study? Law? Business?
Me: History (The train!)
RM: Where are you going?
Me: The, uh, library.
RM: Come dancing with my friends and I?
Me: No thanks.
RM: Are you sure?
Me: Yes.
RM: Really?
Me: Yes, it's impossible.
RM: *boarding the train* Ok, I'll leave you alone then. Happy New Year. Have a nice evening.
Me: Same to you.
-2 seconds later-
RM: *sitting down next to me* Actually, my friends are trying to figure out where we're going, I'll come sit with you!
Me: So you're not from Paris then.
RM: Me, yes, I've lived here for four years. They're trying to figure out how to get to the club.
Me: I see.
RM: So which library are you going to? Odéon?
Me: (not understanding) Cool.
RM. La Sorbonne? Montparnasse?
Me: Yes, er, no. (Oh look my stop!)
RM: *Also getting off the train* Oh! I think you like me!
Me: (Fantastic) *power-walking to next train*
RM and friends: *giggles* (Guess who's also taking Line 6 towards Nation.)
*As I approach the voie, the train pulls away. Next train, 7 minutes.* (Hooo, boy!)
Me: *Trying to blend into the crowd on the voie. Pointedly avoiding eye contact.*
RM: *Pointedly trying to make eye contact. *
Me: *Surpressing nervous laughter*
RM: It's destiny.
Me: Nope.
RM: Do you like Frenchmen?
Me: uhhh...
RM: American men, they aren't very tender, are they?
Me: I guess?
RM: So you've come to France to experience tenderness, affection, to fall in love with a Frenchman.
Me: Nope.
RM: No? You don't like men...you only like women now.
Me: Haha...I only like books.
RM: Ah, yes you're going to the library, that's very good.
Me: Yup.
RM: But you can't curl up against a book at night...
Me: (Says you) Oh well.
RM: What part of your studies are you in? What do you want to do afterward?
Me: I don't know.
RM: Ah well, that's very good, and I wish you luck and a happy New Year and a nice evening.
Me: Yes, to you as well, bye bye
-2 seconds later-
RM: Please, if I could just know your first name.
Me: No.
RM: Mine's Nicolai, I'm Russian.
Me: Cool, you speak very good French.
RM: I studied a lot. You won't tell me your name?
Me: No.
RM: Maybe in 10 years, after you finish your studies...
Me: I don't think so.
RM: Very well. I wish you a...Actually, I don't wish you anything. You have your studies, you're on a good path. Have a nice night.
Me: Ok. Byebye.
RM: You really won't tell me?
Me: No.
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